Angry? Deep Breaths… Calm Down
Ok, to say you’re frustrated…. understatement. To say you’re angry… understatement. To say you’re disappointed… accurate.
When you pour your heart and soul into something in the vain hope that maybe, just one day, other people will see what you see, understand the potential and the required effort and say, here you go here’s a resource to help you achieve your goal.
But no, the harsh reality of no budget, lack of understanding and fear of the unknown, leave you wounded, pained, frustrated, angry and quite frankly, darn right disappointed!
We’ll never understand why we take these things so much to heart! I guess when you throw everything you have into building something from scratch, watch it grow, glimpse the potential and then watch it fall down round you, may have something to do with it!
I admire those people who are able to, or at least appear to be able to, distance themselves from work. They rant, they shake it off and then they move on. Some on the other hand, get annoyed, worked up, angry, emotional… well you get the picture. Needless to say, they do not shake it off and move on quite so easily!
When those times are upon us, do you feel like there’s a Tasmanian devil inside you just itching to get out?
The fact we react that way, can annoy us even more. Why can’t we just take a deep breath and let it wash over us, why do we have to become so het up?
You try to convince yourself that you don’t care in the vain hope that you will be able to let it go, deal with it and move on, but your body lets you down every time, even if your mind has almost convinced it otherwise.
The problem with feeling this way, is the fact that you could end up saying something you regret. It’s at this point that you have an internal battle with yourself, cue “shoulder angel and shoulder devil”.
Responding to situations when angry is not advisable, that’s not to say that what you have to say isn’t valid, but it can be the way you say it that could get you in trouble.
Let’s face it, some things just have to be said, but saying them calmly and when you are in a rational state of mind will have a greater impact. Saying them when you are so angry means emotion gets in the way and when you’re over emotional the effectiveness of what we want to say gets lost.
So my advice, and believe me it can take all my efforts to apply this to myself, is to go through the following process;
• Get emotional
• Let the anger in
• Scream and shout the anger out (preferably somewhere private and discreet)
• Take deep breaths
• Let yourself calm down
Then and only then, talk about what’s bothering you to the person or persons that have annoyed you. That why you have some chance of coming across as a professional, strong individual rather than an emotional, bumbling idiot.